It's not a date, though...

Ugh.

So complicated.

I just wrote somebody the most convoluted, complicated invitation to hang out, that I've ever written.

Here's the deets. I'll try to keep it short.

There's this Girl, see?
(Every one of my blog entries should just begin with that sentance. Everything worth talking about, begins with a girl.)

Anyways, there's this girl, see?
I don't know her very well. But she seems really pleasant and nice. She's an improviser, here in town. But she's relatively new to the game. (So, you've never heard of her, so stop trying to figure out who she is.)

I see her around the theater, from time to time and occasionally I find a chance to talk to her. Sometimes, I don't. But the last few weeks, she's sort of found me backstage and we've chatted a bit. But because I think she's sort of cute and because that makes me nervous and because we don't have anything other than the theater in common, that's all that we talk about.
I'm pleasant and welcoming. I'd very clearly like to talk to her about something more. But when she's looking at me and smiling at me, expectantly, I just dry up. Poof, nothing comes to mind. Because what I REALLY want to say is, "Has anyone ever accurately described to you just how lovely your smile is?"

I don't ask her this, because I know someone has.
Her current boyfriend.
Another improviser.
Only this guy is smart, sexy, thin and very, very cool. So, while I'm talking to her, I'm also thinking about this "cool guy" and wondering why she's talking to me. (I secretly tell myself that it's because she doesn't know anyone else around.)

Recently, in our conversation, we got around to discussing a mutual friend of ours and how we both like hanging out with this guy. She suggested that perhaps we both could hang out with him, sometime. So, I gave her my email address and assumed that she would forget about it and let it go. That was a month ago.

Today, I get an email from her, asking if I was still interested in getting together with them. And I said, yes, and then because I'm tired of not knowing what to say to her, asked her if she wanted to meet up at the theater tomorrow night, to head over to our local pub for a cocktail and chat.

And that, Dear Reader, was the afore-mentioned intricately worded invitation.

Because I wanted her to know that I genuinely wanted to know more about her as a person ...
But I didn't want her to think that I was just gathering intel. for some future coupling...
Because I wanted her to know that I know she's got a boyfriend and I'm cool with that...
But I didn't want her to know that I knew about the boyfriend, before she'd told me, because THAT indicates that I'm doing research on her. Which I am...
Because I ACTUALLY do fancy her and would like to leave the occasion open for some future coupling...
But I am not expecting anything right now and indeed, am entirely incapable of expressing casual, friendly interest in someone that I find attractive without turning into a complete mongoloid.

Ask me what I want from tomorrow, and it's a quick weeknight drink, sipped over an hour or two, and good conversation.
You know, the "getting to know you stuff", like "Where do you work?" and "Where are you from?" and "How're things going?" and "Isn't Bush a dillhole?" and all the small, casual bits of information that I'd already know, if I'd ever been able to talk to her before, like a normal human being. And then at the end of the night, we split the tab, and don't feel self consious about why we're there or what's expected of us. And we have a friendly shake or hug or whatnot and part ways, happier for it.

I don't want a date.
I want a conversation.

And there's no way to casually ask for that, without it sounding like a date.

Which is, I am sure, what it sounds like I've asked her for anyways...

I did drop some subtle hints in there. For one, we're just hitting the local pub on a weeknight and I'm clearly not going out of my way to court her. And I've phrased it to give the impression that what we would be there for, would be to see what's going on, at the Town Hall.
Maybe they're too subtle. I just didn't want to hastily add "THIS ISN'T A DATE!" which also implies "Although, I'd certainly LIKE to have one with you, a dooby dooby doo!"

Who knows what she'll say?
It would be fun to hang out with her.
But If she's wary of what my intentions are, I'll understand if she makes excuses or somehow gets out of it. It's an awkward request. That much is certain. Despite all of my efforts to cleverly word my actual intentions, it's still an awkward, forced rush of a request. And it's not how people do things, these days.

Ah well. It's sent. There's nothing to do about it now, but whine to your blog about it. I'll hear something back from her today or tomorrow.

I'll mention below, in the Comments Section, what she says. I think it'll be a polite denial. It's probably what I would do.

Ugh.

Lord, but I'm so awkward around women.

Mr.B